Alternative Resolutions 🕯️
Belated thanks & happy new year
‘There are days that I am firmly rooted and moving from my highest self. And there are moments of profound self-betrayal. But the ultimate resolution I have is compassion. So I embrace all my messy becoming. I know that I need the straying away in order to get to where I was destined to be all along. So I suppose progress isn't a metric, it's a sense of me trying my best. Am I trying my best to live the kind of life that I want? I suppose this is a way of saying I try. The most honest and beautiful thing we can do is try.’ - ALOK
During this liminal season, when we have one foot leaping toward the new year and one foot still buried in winter, I remember Steven Arnold’s images that conjure quiet epiphanies, chiaroscuro dreams, and angels of cosmic time.
I also revisit Alok Vaid-Menon’s poetic resolutions. They have suggestions for creating your own here but I savor their evergreen incantations from past years.
2024 was one of the hardest years of my life. It was a year of “stability” (a steady job, a permanent address, a proper bed instead of the floor!, a room of one’s own), something I desperately desired years prior, but the ground underneath me was shaking with the reverberations of the genocides in Palestine and worldwide. I never quite found my footing.
In many ways it feels like this year I’ll be reimagining 2024’s teachings. After all, repetition is the mother of learning. I’m grateful for the teachers, classes, and experiences that helped me survive but I pray for gentler lessons this time round.
I’m especially thankful to you, to those who took the time to read my words, share my pleas, and help my family when they need it most. I’m humbled that we raised over $5,000 which was used to provide food, water, and medical aid to my family in Gaza & Khan Yunis. Thank you so fucking much for supporting them, investing in Palestinian lives, and caring for me & my kin. Special thanks to my SFPC teacher Amina Ross who shared the fundraiser for their birthday.
Additionally, because of the hard work of the team behind Passport of Witness, the artist book raised over $5,500 dollars which was donated to UNRWA, PCRF, United Palestinian Appeal, and family fundraisers such as mine. The team along with Booklyn has placed copies in over 20 institutions including museums, universities, and libraries. To be a small contributor within this labor of love feels surreal and I’m endlessly grateful to Ren Allathkani, Stephanie Adams-Santos, and Sun Young Kang for tending to this project and providing updates.
In the year of our (jewish palestinian) lord 2025, I will continue to raise funds but at a pace I can sustain, a pace that doesn’t sacrifice my mental & physical health, a pace in which I can find some joy. There is so much valid urgency and ever growing needs, but there’s only so much one person can do. I remind myself that I’m trying my best, even when it’s not enough, even when I fall short, the most honest and beautiful thing I can do is try.
Contributions to the gofundme from now on will go mainly toward my cousin Tamara in Cairo. Tamara is the sole caretaker of her elder mother and 2 sons, as her husband is still trapped in Gaza. Many refugees in Egypt do not have the legal status that allows them to get a job nor send their kids to school, so the funds will make sure Tamara and her children can stay housed. Please consider contributing if you haven’t already or sharing the link with your community is always a huge help.
I’m planning on doing a raffle later this year with multiple contributors so stay tuned for that, but I’m also ideating ways I can make my artistic practice and fundraising efforts intersect. I would love to get your opinion on what kinds of creations you’d like to see. The poll below will help me streamline my efforts but please feel free to comment if you have any other suggestions!
Thank you again, I’ll leave you with some images from the start of my winter. Let me know if you have any seasonal resolutions or which one of Alok’s resonated with you. I hope you can access what you desire this year and beyond.
Aaaa I always love revisiting Alok’s reflections/prompts too. They call me out, and remind me that big feelings are important.